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Dating Advice That WorksYES - NO - MAYBE?
I was talking the other day with a friend, (a fellow Alpha Male) and he was joking about the way boys grow up, drawing dicks on desks, and how they would write the notes to the girls to find out if they liked him or not.
This really got me thinking again about how we're brought up, and how we learn to treat women.
Think back to when you were a kid. When you had a crush on a girl, what did you do?
Sure, you did what most of the boys did (lacking social skills)... You somehow thought that if you wrote her a note, disclosing your TRUE feelings for her, that she would somehow jump in your lap.
What did you write her?
Something like: "Do you like me? Check one: Yes No" Then you'd slip it into her book bag, or on her desk. Or maybe you'd hand it to her as you ran to your bus.
And what did she do?
Well, some girls would just take it and show it to their friends, giggling and laughing, crushing our little child egos. Then, many of the girls would write back.
She'd NEVER check Yes, even if she did like you. Most often, what would she do?
She'd write in "MAYBE." And the pattern began.
Don't mistake what I'm going to say here as some kind of disguised male anger, but:
Guys were setup from that point on to always be subject to the whims of female se*xual power and control. They learned that a girl's approval could make them feel bad or good about themselves. All with a little check mark.
What we didn't learn was that they couldn't affect our confidence - unless we LET THEM. Think about that for a minute. Isn't this the SAME damn pattern we go through as teenagers, and then adults?
A man is interested in a woman. He starts thinking about her all the time. He wants to know if this is worth pursuing.
So he asks her out, and after the first date, he goes home and thinks about her some more. He wants to know what's going on. What does she think about him?
Then he wants to lock it down. He gets impatient and calls her up, and he tells her his feelings for her.
Then he asks: "Do you like me?" He asks it again with his supplicating and insecure behavior, even if he never actually says the words. You see, guys think in black-and-white.
Yes or no. Like me or not. None of that "Maybe" crap.
Guys don't want the drama of riding an emotional rollercoaster. But girls grow up loving that drama. And what happens the second he tries to pin her down? To tell him what she thinks of him?
She becomes harder to get. She becomes more elusive and distant. She stops feeling attraction because it's obvious that he NEEDS her in some way.
You see, a woman KNOWS that se*xuality is her POWER.
A man holds the might, but a woman controls the zipper.
So he must play the Game.
And since guys are not brought up to understand this game very well, they are unsure of the rules.
Think about what it's like to learn a new card game. When you first start playing, your eyes glaze over a bit as the person starts to explain the rules. Then you realize that the best way to learn is to just play it.
After a while, you get the hang of it and it becomes fun. But at first, when you don't know what to do and when, it's stressful. Not very fun at all.
If I were to tell you that I know a card game where the rules seem to change every time you play it, and the only way you can bet is with your heart and emotions, and that you never really get to see any of the cards until you've already lost, would you be interested?
Most guys would laugh and hit the Roulette wheel again before they'd chance on that losing proposal. But that's the card game of dating and seduction, guys.
The women have all the cards, and you can only figure out which is which by learning to read how she's holding them. The more you don't want to see the cards, the more she wants you to look at them. The more you try to peek at the cards, the worse your hand gets.
But that's the game, gentlemen. Like it or not. But this game is winnable. I do it and see it all the time. The secret to winning this game is that the CARDS DON'T MATTER. It's how you PLAY them.
And I wrote a winning rule book that shows you how to do it, The Dating Black Book.
(The funny part of this card game is that if you play the game right, your cards actually get better and better, until you can be holding five or six aces. Screw it up, and you can actually be holding a fist full of ZEROS.)
Men and women are different. Don't try to convince yourself otherwise. I used to say that "men and women are really the same inside." This was back in my chump days, when I was getting laid by luck, not by design. And then my luck dried up.
And so did my s*ex life.
I even felt wrong every time I said that lame thing about men and women being the same. I KNEW inside that I was wrong. But I WANTED it to be right.
That's where most guys go off the path, and almost never come back. They become addicted to the way they WISH it was instead of the way it REALLY is. Then, every day, they invent every justification imaginable to make it that way. So when they fail to get the woman they want, they make excuses and claim that women are just too hard to understand. They don't see that their own egos are getting in the way.
You see, a winner doesn't complain or cry or whine about the way he "wishes" it was. Arrogant people are hard to teach because they think they already know it all. It takes a mighty humbling experience for them to put aside their insecurities and let themselves be taught.
A winner - an ALPHA Man winner - realizes that pride goes before a fall.
Instead, when faced with a situation and a game he doesn't understand, the winner goes and LEARNS.
He doesn't puff up his chest and proclaim that he doesn't need any help with women.
He doesn't shift the responsibility for his actions to someone or something else.
He accepts that if he's going to learn, he has to put away that sore, hurt little boy, and go back to school for a bit.
Did you know that the majority of people do not read a single book after they get out of school? We've lost over 20 million readers of literature in the last 20 years. I'm not telling you this to increase your social awareness or make you rush out to a bookstore.
But the reality is that fewer people than ever are taking the responsibility for educating themselves and improving their lives.
And NOBODY is going to just show up on your doorstep and teach you this stuff. If you're going to learn, you have to TEACH YOURSELF. And, believe it or not, that's all you ever did in school. You taught yourself.
So what's it going to be?
If you want a woman's interest, you're going to have to learn a little more about what makes them tick. Contrary to popular belief, you were not born with all the knowledge necessary to attract women. In fact, 90+% of all guys do NOT know how to really generate authentic female sexual attraction.
This is where I decided it was time for me to give you the resources you need to become part of that top 10%.
The men who GET WHAT THEY WANT.
It's really all about power, and whether or not you are perceived as having any.
All kinds of power.
Powerful men don't have try too hard. They know how to influence a woman by demonstrating their internal strength in certain ways. They know how to play that card game I mentioned, and not be insecure that they can't see whether they have Kings ... or twos.
Do you want to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?
First of all, you need my e-book - The Dating Black Book. I've packed this e-book with hundreds of examples, tips, strategies, explanations, what to say, what to do...
It's all in there. And you can get it here:
Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at: www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series, and too many other articles to mention.
Each week, the Dating Dynamics newsletter gives advice to men across the world on topics related to dating, relationships, and sex. Carlos Xuma helps men get more confidence and success with women ... After all, every man has the right to a healthy dating life. Dating Dynamics provide advice, articles, books, audio, and all the resources a mand needs for success.
Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:
- Maxim Radio
- Utopia Radio
- Bikini Hangout
- Seduction Insider
- Don Juan Center
- Dating Newsletter
- Single Again
- Cliff's List
- Dating Class
- The Dating Insider Book
- Man Mindset
- Summum Magazine
- Savvy Insider - the art of single living
- Carlos Xuma
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