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Don't Wimp Out When Meeting Women

*** Question from a Reader ***

I've worked really hard on my game with women and have had some amazing results,I owe that to you so cheers.

I've met a woman who I really like and we've been dating for about a month. She has told me she loves me just a couple days ago.

The problem I have is I don't want to go soft just because she's my girlfriend, because I've always controlled the situation. How can I stay on top because she's starting to be a bit bolder then she was before and I don't want to give her the upper hand.

Thanks your wisdom would be much appreciated!

British Columbia, Canada

Carlos Replies:

Well, I'll point out the obvious once again that if you USE this stuff, you will get results. I hear about it all the time.

So you got yourself a girl... and now you want to KEEP her.

But she's starting to test you.

Yep, that's what she's doing. She's testing her boundaries.

You see, women can't control certain behaviors, just like men can't help cleaning their ears with their car keys.

Women will always test the boundaries of their relationship by pushing them as far as they can to see if they can grab the steering wheel away from you. The horrible irony is that once they do get this control, they realize that they don't want it - nor do they want the man that gives it over to them.

And you end up being either a p---y whipped house-husband, earning her the money while she nags you into an early grave, or she runs off with the first guy that comes along with a real set of balls.

Let's be very clear about this:

Women want men who make them feel safe and protected.

If they feel that THEY are the ones running everything, how safe do you think they feel?

How protected can you be if you can't be sure that the person you're with is capable of INITIATIVE and ACTION when the time comes?

Sure, that time may never come, but that's not the point. We don't buy insurance because we believe something WILL happen, like a fire or accident, but because we want to feel safe in case it MIGHT happen.

A multi-billion dollar business with incredible profits, based strictly on our fear of loss.


In fact, we'd prefer to never entertain thoughts of that kind of misfortune in our lives. But we want the protection in case it DOES.

How can a woman know if you're the man who will make her feel safe?

By setting clear and definite boundaries of acceptable behavior.

If this sounds like some kind of California new-age speak, guess again.

Boundaries are the most critical element of a relationship, because they give each person clear expectations, and they give our emotions the right amount of resistance.

An unbridled emotion is like a loose bolt of lightning. It will wreak as much destruction as it can before it finally grounds itself out.

This is where the "Alpha Man" behavior comes into play, and why I talk about it so much. I used to describe this as the "Dynamic Man" because he understood the dynamics of the dating scene and could adjust, because he came from a place of confidence.

I now add on to that definition to include many many more behaviors that communicate to a woman that you are a dominant and high-value man.

So what do you do to keep this woman?

Keep up the banter.

Keep up the playful teasing.

Keep up your standards.

Keep up the effort.

Keep up the power of your cockiness and take-no-sh|t attitude. If she gives you a hard time, give her one back. Don't ever let an interaction go by where she feels like she bested you and grabbed the steering wheel away from you.


Because you'll be setting a very bad precedent, and starting down a very slippery slope. She'll panic inside, thinking "Ohmigosh! He's starting to get wimpy on me!"

And then you get lazier and lazier, just wanting to keep the emotional water calm and smooth.

A truly vibrant relationship IS dynamic. It has waves - ups and downs. You have to be a good surfer to hang on.

Don't do what most guys do, which is seek the calm water in the middle. You have to learn to love the ride, but not get swamped by the waves. You stay on top by being skilled enough to ride and remain calm on the inside.

And the reality is that you need a lot more than cocky and funny to get women... There are a bunch of skills that you need to develop to win over the hot women you see every day.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you're reading this and thinking that you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away. If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.

Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away. I wrote them in a simple, easy-to-use format that ANYONE can learn. Nothing is complicated, and there's no dumb hypnosis routines to learn. Just the stuff that will help YOU get more success with women.

THE DATING BLACK BOOK - This e-book set covers the dating scene, from meeting women, to your best attitude, to strategies, to how to touch women, to driving up their attraction, to dumping them when you need to move on. Looking for a woman? This book shows you the BIG picture.

And this is how you join Carlos Xuma's free weekly newsletter:

And this is where you buy 'The Dating Black Book':


Carlos Xuma

Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series, and too many other articles to mention.

Each week, the Dating Dynamics newsletter gives advice to men across the world on topics related to dating, relationships, and sex. Carlos Xuma helps men get more confidence and success with women ... After all, every man has the right to a healthy dating life. Dating Dynamics provide advice, articles, books, audio, and all the resources a mand needs for success.

Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:

- Maxim Radio
- Utopia Radio
- Bikini Hangout
- A-Lovelinks-Plus
- Seduction Insider
- Don Juan Center
- Dating Newsletter
- Single Again
- Cliff's List
- Dating Class
- The Dating Insider Book
- Man Mindset
- Summum Magazine
- Savvy Insider - the art of single living

- Carlos Xuma

email: advice@datingdynamics.com

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