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Dennis W. Neder
Real Social Dynamics
Meet people from all over the US interested in no-strings attached fun.
How To Email HerQUESTION:
I've been hanging out with this girl for about a month now. We've spent the night together quite a few times without ever having s*ex. However, we've done just about everything else we could do, without actually having s*ex. This last time we spent the night together (we seem to go farther and farther each time we hang out) we're making out and then she asks when the last time I had s*ex was.
Now I know that this is one of those questions that I'm not suppose to answer so I try to blow it off but she wouldn't let me. So I answer it really vaguely "Oh, it was a while ago" is what I said. But that didn't seem to be good enough for her, and she kept pressing.
Now I didn't want to come off like I was totally trying to dodge the question, so eventually I said it's been 2 months(and really it's been about 3 weeks). She then said "well that's not a long time". It didn't stop things from going the way they've been going, and I can tell she's still really into me, but we still haven't had s*ex yet.
In a way I feel like she's asking valid questions, not because she's asking them, but because of all of the nasty stuff out there one could catch. Will you help me know how to handle this type of situation next time it comes up, and she's really pressing for an answer about my past.
Let's start out that it's good that you've been able to put this together
Hmmm... my first diagnosis of this situation is that you're in troubled territory...
Why do I say this?
First, let's look at what's really happening:
You're not moving in fast and strong enough with the right dynamic to keep her lust and attraction moving. You see, if she has time to step back and think about "where this is going," (and she must be thinking this in some way if she's more concerned about trust than excited about possibility) then you need to step up the attack a little.
You see, you're also starting to sympathize with her questions. You're right, she does have valid questions, but that doesn't make them ones you need to deal with. The simple solution to her questions: Wear a condom. That will take care of 99% of those pesky problems. But don't get caught up in defensive mode.
She's asking questions because she reached a point where she thought "Uh-oh! If I keep going, I'm going to sleep with him." She now needs to know she isn't a slut to keep going.
Now, she WANTS to sleep with you, but she's losing that lovin' "feeling." Familiarity is starting to creep in, and she's now putting up defensive obstacles to getting together with you. Women who are "hot" for a man don't stomp on the brakes like this unless they're having doubts.
Either about you, or whether or not she's being "easy."
What you need to do is step back away from HER. Show HER some doubts. Don't talk to her for a couple days. Chill and get yourself a few new numbers.
You have to be willing to risk a little tension between you two, because right now it's starting to go south. If you don't seal this deal soon, she's going to tell you about needing space, or she'll just start avoiding you altogether. I've seen these signs before. Everything looks "great" between you, but it will come out of nowhere.
To handle this question in the future, you need to put HER on the defensive instead of letting yourself get put there. You can say: "Why do you ask? Are you afraid there's another hen in my barnyard? Are you -- (poke her in the
ribs) -- JEALOUS?" And start tickling her.
Get the tension up again.
Joke with her about asking. "Wow, you're moving pretty fast there, aren't you? One minute you're kissing me, the next you're about to attack me. I'm not sure I'm ready... you see, (pretend you're getting all soft and
sensitive) I grew my cherry back, so now I'm a virgin again. I have to trust you to let you have your way with me."
Remember, she's not looking for logical and rational answers. She just wants to feel trust and attraction.
(And no more nights together unless it's going all the way. That's a rule. You only stay over if you're getting some, chum.)
I've got to tell you that the information in your news letters are great. My success has sky rocketed. I just started college not to long ago and because of the information in the news letters alone I haven't found a women who has turned me down with getting her email or phone number so far.
When I walk down the halls I notice that more and more women smile and notice me and im able to get email's or phone numbers with ease.
With my newfound success I have a minor flaw you might be able to fix.
You see, as I said before I get a girls email with ease, but writing an effective email is a different story.
In a past news letter I remember you saying that you should keep the first email short. I think my problem is I tend to try a little too much to make something reply worthy. This may be why I'm not getting as much replys from the emails I sent as I would like.
I sent [an] email out on friday and I still haven't gotten a reply. Oh well, I'll see her in class again in a few days.
Could you give me a good example of what a first time email should be like? I"d like some basic rules I can go by so my email success could be a little better then I can break the ice better and start getting more dates.
Here are a couple of rules to the first email:
- Be SHORT (no more than a couple sentences)
- Be VERY short - (I really mean this one.)
- Be FUNNY (give her a little chuckle, but don't try too hard.)
When I say short, I mean SHORT. Keep it to just a short sentence or two. Guys who are in demand don't have time to write long emails. And for every sentence over two or three, she's wondering why you're spending so much time on this girl you hardly even know. It's a bit creepy.
Be funny, because you want to revive that sense of fun that you two had together when you met, and you want her to remember it enough to want more.
And lastly, always ask a question that she will HAVE to answer. Something that she won't be able to RESIST answering ....
"I have a guy that is interested in taking you out to tea this week. Give me a call and I'll tell you about him..." (And then when she calls, tell her it's you...)
"You know, I think you might have dropped something when we were talking... give me a call..." (And then when she calls, tell her she dropped a hint that she wanted to talk to you again...)
"I just talked to someone who knows you... You better call me about this - what he said is really unbelievable..." (And then when she calls, you tease her FOREVER about it. Make her REALLY wonder. And the only way you will tell her is if she meets you at the coffee place on Wednesday...)
Yeah, it's tricky. But hey, whatever gets results, guys.
Life is tough. Wear a cup.
(By the way, the other rules for handling first time emails will be coming up in a future Audio Coaching Session.)
And for gosh sakes, get my e-books. I gave you some great free information, and now you need to get the real deal to fill in all the missing pieces.
You see, most guys kiss up to a woman and work too hard to get her attention, not knowing that they need to get her ATTRACTION.
And you can't do it with a soft, nice guy attitude.
Can you do it? Do you have the balls to challenge women?
Or are you going to break down and treat her ... NICE.
How many times have you heard this:
"Nice Guys just don't get laid."
The Nice Guy SEEMS like what women want, but he's not. And now we are going to show you the reasons why, and help you get rid of the "Nice Guy" forever.
Are you ready to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence?
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start being a real Alpha Man?
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I've just completed a brand-new e-book and CD audio program that you have been waiting for. We've even got a new site at: www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htm
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Here's just a small sample of what you're going to learn in this program:
- How impatience is your #1 killer of seductions and opportunity in your life
- The number one factor that determines your success in life, and with women
- How to drive up your social value
- What you're communicating that you don't even realize - and how it's scaring off women
- How to avoid obsession - the dysfunctional thinking that sabotages you and drives off women
- How to use your voice to interest a woman - including exercises to develop your speech power
- What an Alpha Man's lifestyle is, and how to live like you want to
- Male emotional strength - why women need your strength and coping skills
- How to socialize and network to increase your social circle
- How to re-write your mental scripts to get rid of fear and hesitance
- How to use emotional intelligence to unlock your hidden power with women
- How to use organic problem solving to increase your ability to solve problems "on-the-fly" in any situation
This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!
Here's more of what you'll find in the Secrets of the Alpha Man program:
- How to utilize the power of PASSION in your life to attract anyone to you
- Alpha Self-Confidence - a complete section on developing the kind of self-confidence that enables your achievement and gets you the s*ex life you want - including specific exercises and concepts to drive up your confidence immediately
- How to verbally "spar" with women
- POWER - the most influential trait of the Alpha Man - how to find your power, develop it, and use it to give you success in any interactions (with men or women)
- How to exercise complete emotional self-control and what this communicates to women
- The specific "Nice Guy" behaviors you need to rid yourself of to get women
- How to use "peacocking"
- How to actually make compliments work for you
- How my sure-fire opening line for any woman will work in any situation
- How to open up a conversation with multiple women at once - and even handle the guys that are with them
- How to tell when a woman is lying to you
- How a woman views s*ex, and how to use this to your advantage
- How to develop your sense of humor - one of the most valuable Alpha Man tools
- How to develop RAPPORT - the critical success element of ALL seductions
- How to diagnose your game with women, including each step from meeting her to the bedroom
- How to de-fuse the "cockblockers" - guys and girls who try to trip up your game with women
- What to say to the woman that you really want
And MUCH much more than I can list here. I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and hundreds of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.
You can see the complete list of contents here at: www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htm
If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.
I'm accepting pre-orders now for this program, which will likely be shipped by the end of this month - 9/30 (September 30th.)
You need to get your order in now, because the first printing is limited and will likely sell out quickly. This price is also subject to increase depending on the demand for the first run. Order now and you'll be assured your copy.
And don't forget my e-book -THE DATING BLACK BOOK- will also help you get all of that ... and then some.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Where do you go for the information you need?
THE DATING BLACK BOOK has the complete breakdown of the dating scene, and it's ready for download right now, no matter where you are or what time it is in the world.
Download it here:
Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at: www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series, and too many other articles to mention.
Each week, the Dating Dynamics newsletter gives advice to men across the world on topics related to dating, relationships, and sex. Carlos Xuma helps men get more confidence and success with women ... After all, every man has the right to a healthy dating life. Dating Dynamics provide advice, articles, books, audio, and all the resources a mand needs for success.
Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:
- Maxim Radio
- Utopia Radio
- Bikini Hangout
- Seduction Insider
- Don Juan Center
- Dating Newsletter
- Single Again
- Cliff's List
- Dating Class
- The Dating Insider Book
- Man Mindset
- Summum Magazine
- Savvy Insider - the art of single living
- Carlos Xuma
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