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How To Get Past Her Shields


"Hello Carlos. Great news for me. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman just last week thanks to your superb coaching on how to connect with the female species... You're da Man!" L.W.

Just shows you that you can make this stuff work to any goal you want...


Hey Carlos.

I enjoy your material better than others because it seems to be based in the real world. Been listening to the audio program for a while now and I'm learning a lot and noticing (positive) changes in how women are reacting to me.

I have 2 questions/comments.

I always try to make eye contact and smile with every attractive woman I see. I almost never get a smile back, they almost always break eye-contact and look at the ground. I take this as a rejection of sorts but I guess I don't know if this is how women would respond to any man they don't know. Will a woman maintain eye-contact if she's interested?

Also, you suggest in your material not to come on like a steam-roller but to be honest that is when I always have done best with women. The more I act like Pepe Le Pew, the more women seem to like it. When I try to act stand-offish I blend into the background and become invisible. Maybe it's because I'm not that physically attractive and it's seems interesting to them that an "average-at-best" guy is coming on so strong, I don't know.

Any comments?

Yes, gentlemen... welcome to the real world. That's the place where I live and work, not in this fictional place where women are supposed to fall for guys who send flowers and poems.

I'm glad you're also getting the benefit from the Advanced Audio Coaching, as so many other guys are. It's not surprising, really, since there's so much information in each one that you can't help but improve just listening to it each month. I commend you for actually taking steps to improve your se*x life.

I always say that you shouldn't go to the extremes, but do whatever works for YOU. I just don't want guys to steamroll so fast that you miss clues and signals along the way. Move forward with confidence and purpose.

As for eye contact, women will always break off and look down. It's a submission gesture, and it's usually a good sign.

A woman will only hold eye contact for so long before she breaks it out of discomfort. The important thing is that you hold it long enough that she feels the WHAMMY. But this is only the start.

You've demonstrated dominant male behavior, but you have to reinforce it by interacting with her and progressing.

For the average guy, a strong, confident approach is perfect. Keep it up!

As for the Pepe le Pew, there's a good way to use this to your advantage.

(For those of you who are not aware, Pepe le Pew is that suave French skunk on the Warner Brothers cartoons who is always trying to seduce a certain cat.)

Make Pepe a humorous character that you can use to make her laugh, and at the same time move in on women. They like playfulness, and I can't think of a better way to use humor with your seduction approach. Use a corny French accent as you call her your "leetle buttercup of sweetness ..."

You also hit on a key secret there - women respond to your assertive "Pepe" approach because it's CONFIDENT.

(How many times have I told you guys this?)

When you move forward as an assertive, dominant Alpha Man, you trigger attraction in a woman's mind. Physical attractiveness is NOT NECESSARY for a man. Confidence is.

Think of all the guys you know who are butt-ugly and still getting laid.

It's true, guys. All you have to do is build up that Alpha Man attitude and you can have the women you want.

sorry for my english but I'm from a distant but amazingly loyal to USA country

Ok. I've read some of your last mails. You really know what you are doing. I see that for many guys you appear to be a king of guru.

I think such a knowledge should be taught at school and that's not only my opinion. For many men it would be much easier to live if they knew how women 'work', let's say 'the rules of the world'.

It should be taught especially because the behaviour of the women has surely changed since books, which are obligatory at school, were written:) Somebody surely should make the education relevant.

But let's get down to business:

I've met a girl. (I've just got an impression you have seen this sentence for some times :) But she isn't a common girl who I would have no problems with.

She is from... er... somewhere from Russia. She's moved out a lot in her life. She's unbelievably interesting person. not one of those stupid chicks hanging around or those "intelligent" who's never drink any beer.

Now she's here.

Needless to say she is very cautious in meeting new men and reserved in talking with them... It's difficult for me to understand her sense of humour, yet I have a few 'succeses', difficult to make a conversation longer than few sentences and generally difficult to... 'work her out' (I'm not sure if it's the right meaning but I hope you know what I mean)

The situation is difficult because I've engaged more than other...competitors shall I say?:) but... it's like an assault on a good fortress, I got too far, little hope for a victory... and at this stage I can very easily... fail.

I'm certainly not a wimp or something (smile) but I've got a strange feeling she knows men more than I suspected and such a surprise could have some depressing effect. She's either 'tough', experienced personality or I can't attract her attention.

And sorry for such a long e-mail...
and best regards.


You got it right - this SHOULD be part of every man's education growing up, but it's NOT. And I'm here to change that. Men are going to be woken up from sea to shining sea.

Ahhhh ....

Another guy that understands what's going on, and it's not even his native language!

A pretty girl gets LOTS of attention from other guys, so you have to stand out. You have to be extra confident with her, and be sure to let her know you are NOT intimidated by her.

She wants to know you're an assertive and dominant man, and that means you have to step in and not wait for her to show you signs.

Start to use body language as well as spoken language. She's probably also pretty shy, so you'll have to demonstrate a lot of internal self-esteem so that she can understand your "language."

Let me fill you in on a little secret: Women are rarely "tough."

And the "tough" front they put up is just a smokescreen. Women have a behavior mode they use so that they appear composed in public and in control.

I call this their "bitch shield" and it's really a protection so that you don't see how insecure and nervous they really are underneath it all.

They're scared about their nails, their breath, their hair, their ass, their makeup, their wrinkles... the list goes on and on. Underneath a woman's seemingly "tough, experienced" personality is a scared little girl. Much the same as most guys have a scared little boy.

That should make it a lot easier to approach women if you really UNDERSTAND and believe this. Most guys still put women up on a pedestal, and really beautiful women they put in a temple for worship.

Secretly, these women run from that kind of treatment because they know they don't deserve it, and because a guy that thinks they do won't be the kind to be strong enough to be there for her. He can't know women if that's the way he tries to win them.

Don't mistake this as being a negative statement of women. They want to be independent and strong, and they also want to have a man that can bring out these things in them. But you can't do it if you're scared that she's somehow better than you.

And that's the last thing she wants to feel - better than you.

Just pull together your best confidence, and let it communicate itself through your body language and gestures. The language of love needs no words, if you can act confidently and congruently (meaning that your actions are in sync with your words and beliefs.)

Keep up your work on climbing the fortress walls. Only the man who persists will get to his goal, never the man who quits.

I used to believe that women that acted so valuable and confident were really superior to me, and I let that shake me up. I totally lost my game around them, thinking that because she was beautiful that meant she has some secret power.

Have you ever felt like this? That a beautiful woman just makes you lose all your composure? You know that you're this great guy, but you don't know how to show them. Your words get tangled, and you get shot down before you ever take off.

I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.

Ask yourself:

Wouldn't it be great to learn how women REALLY think and work?

Wouldn't it be fantastic to finally put aside your fears once and for all? Approach women anywhere and anytime?

And GET RESULTS with women.

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of seduction and dating.

I can show you the way to better results and success with women, and it's all in my e-book - THE DATING BLACK BOOK. You need to download it from here:

You'll get answers to questions like:

... When is a woman playing you or REALLY interested?
... How do you stop being strung along for weeks and weeks by women, and how do you turn them on to you instead of you being turned into another girlfriend? ... How do you meet MORE hot women? ... How do you get them attracted to you right from the start? ... How do you stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?

Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 8 is ready NOW to take your current skills and take them to the limit...

Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - firsthand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.

"I have already listened to session 8 and once again I think that you have cut
thru the modern myths of talking to woman and revealed more reality." - R.H.

Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series, and too many other articles to mention.

Each week, the Dating Dynamics newsletter gives advice to men across the world on topics related to dating, relationships, and sex. Carlos Xuma helps men get more confidence and success with women ... After all, every man has the right to a healthy dating life. Dating Dynamics provide advice, articles, books, audio, and all the resources a mand needs for success.

Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:

- Maxim Radio
- Utopia Radio
- Bikini Hangout
- A-Lovelinks-Plus
- Seduction Insider
- Don Juan Center
- Dating Newsletter
- Single Again
- Cliff's List
- Dating Class
- The Dating Insider Book
- Man Mindset
- Summum Magazine
- Savvy Insider - the art of single living

- Carlos Xuma

email: advice@datingdynamics.com

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