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How To Stop Turning Women OffHow To Stop Turning Women OFF, And How To Start Turning Them ON Instead
Can you remember a time when you got really nervous before a date?
Maybe you were going to go out with a woman who was REALLY cute.
(Have you ever noticed the MORE beautiful a woman is, the more NERVOUS you get? Have you ever noticed you have no problem being cool around women you don't like, but the instant your "attraction-meter" hits the red zone you start to lose it?)
Imagine for a moment you are on the telephone with a woman named Sara. Sara is so attractive it makes you VERY nervous.
Imagine on the call you want to be a gentlemen and be considerate of her needs. So you say, "I'm free on Friday. Would you mind if we went bowling?"
She says bowling sounds fine, so you then ask, "What time would you like me to pick you up?"
On the date, after the two of you bowl for a couple of hours you want to do something else. So you ask, "Would it be okay with you if we got some coffee?"
What's wrong with this picture?
All of your words might appear okay on the surface, but the problem is they communicate that you are "coming from" a place where you are SEEKING HER APPROVAL.
You are OVERLY CONCERNED about screwing up your chances by upsetting her.
This is why you are continually "checking in" to see if what you are suggesting is okay with her.
When you do this, you aren't cool. You aren't confident. You aren''t being a man.
Instead, you are scared. And what you say communicates your fear loud and clear to Sara.
Chances are you HAVE been in a situation with a woman where you were nervous, and you automatically went into "approval-seeking mode."
At the time you probably thought you were just being considerate, nice…you know, a gentleman.
But actually you were being insecure and worrying about screwing up. You were worried about her not liking you any more.
You may have told yourself you were being considerate, but really you were covering up your fear.
Will women pick up on this? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
The solution is two-fold:
On the inside, work on NOT needing women's approval so much.
One way to get over this is to begin dating more than one woman.
The more women you date, the less importance you'll put on any one of them. So whether or not a particular woman "approves of" or likes you will be less important.
I'm not saying every guy should be a ladies' man or a "player," since some men don't want to be.
But even if you're looking for that one special someone, odds are you're going to need to date MANY women to find her.
Dating several women is a GOOD THING. The more experience you get, the more you'll learn and the more you'll develop your skills.
Then when someone really special comes along, you'll be ready.
On the outside, work on avoiding making statements that seek approval. Statements like, "If that's okay with you…" and "Would it be okay with you if…" you should be careful with and use sparingly.
That being said, if you're coming from a place of not seeking approval you can say just about anything and get away with it. But until you get to that point, watch your word choice.
The simple practice of just reminding yourself not to seek approval as you interact with women is often enough to realize where you're making mistakes, and correct them.
Also, consider this:
The masculine quality of Leading is the opposite of seeking approval. Because of this, leading is an ANTIDOTE to approval-seeking.
One easy way to lead is by simply having a plan for the date. Do not rely on your date to make any of the decisions regarding what the two of you are going to do for at least the first three dates. Be "The Man With The Plan" and decide what will happen.
You can even throw in the element of SURPRISE, and don't tell her exactly what the two of you will be doing. Just give her hints. Most women LOVE the feeling of building anticipation that surprises create.
After the third date you can give her choices ("option 1 is bowling, option 2 is sunset at the beach, which do you prefer?"). But don't rely on her to come up with the choices herself.
You are smothering a woman's attraction mechanism if you think you're "showing respect" by making her an equal partner in regards to deciding the course of the date.
There's a time to show respect, and there's a time to be a man and lead the woman.
Women have told me horror stories of guys asking ON THE VERY FIRST DATE what the woman would like to do. Be the man, pick something and go with it. It's a masculine thing to do.
Be the leader of the date. Women expect this and LIKE it.
If you're reading this and thinking that you'd like to learn more about building that gut level attraction in women, good. Learning about attraction, and becoming a more attractive man by working on YOURSELF, is a very smart decision.
You have to admit, when your life with women is going great, it's easier for your WHOLE LIFE to be going great.
But when your life with women is going poorly, even if the rest of your life is going well, it's hard to feel like you are truly succeeding.
So the question is, where can you go to learn these things?
Well, my ebook is a powerful tool. It's the source of everything I teach in these articles. You'll learn how to overcome your fear of approaching women, how to keep conversations going, how to have the kinds of dates that women brag to their friends about, how to take things physical in a natural way, and much, much more...
That's where by e-book comes in…
It's a step by step ROAD MAP to precisely what skills you need, and the unique exercises that build them QUICKLY. I've read the other books on the subject. A few of them are okay, but most of them are complete garbage.
You owe it to yourself to at least check it out. It's guaranteed. If you don't like it for any reason, just email me and I'll refund your money the next business day. You'll find all the details, as well as free samples from the book, here:
In the mean time, get out there, apply these ideas, and I'll speak to you again in a couple of days.
Free Newsletter And The Ebook Download
In Case You're Wondering...
No, this isn't some sort of fly-by-night internet company that is here today, gone with your money tomorrow. I started my company in October of 2003. My goal was to create the simplest and most effective system on the planet to help the average "nice guy" transform his success with women.
Like I said, I have students across the globe who are enjoying women more than ever before. Tons of testimonials prove this. I stand behind my products 100%. And they're fully backed by a no-hassle guarantee.
In a field full of snake-oil salesmen and losers posing as experts, I pride myself on professionalism and integrity.
So if you're ready to RADICALLY and ONCE AND FOR ALL have the women you deserve, I hope you’ll give the materials a chance and click below:
Your Dating Coach,
By the way: Have any buddies who want more success with women? Forward this article to them. They'll thank you later.
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