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Another Day, Another Threesome

Hey there, Friend.

I had a great night last night. I went out to my favorite watering hole, the El Rio, for Monday Dollar Drink Night with my girlfriend, and we met our girlfriend there.

That's right: WE met OUR girlfriend there.

It's funny, because when I first got into this game, I said to myself, "I'm a player now! I'm never gonna have a 'girlfriend' ever again!!"

And then I ended up getting one, and now WE have a girlfriend. I'm like, what's next, me and my girlfriend and our girlfriend get a girlfriend? And so on and so on ad nauseam? What the hell.

So anyway, I'm standing there in my pink suit, drinking while my girls hang on me and make out with each other. Random guys keep coming up and trying to hit on them.

I let these chodes do this for a while before I blow them out like a candle, usually by saying, with a completely serious face, "200 dollars, either of them. 200 bucks, give it to me." Either this, or I just initiate three-way tonguedown right in front of the guy. Haaa good times.

After a while of this, I grow bored, so I take them home and bang them for several hours. Then I go to Jack in the Box for some late-night tacos. When I get back, I bang them again. Then I go to sleep.

God Bless America.

I'm not bragging here, I'm just in an expansive mood today.

I also wanted to illustrate what exactly is possible when you get this part of your life handled. As far as my love life is concerned, I'm living a dream every single day.

Remember, I'm the guy that, three years ago, couldn't seduce his way out of a paper bag. If you're serious about learning this stuff, it's VERY possible.

Stick with me dude, and you'll be pulling off stuff you only see in the movies.

Anyway, today's another mailbag day, so let's reach into the bin and pull out our first lucky contestant.

*** QUESTION ***

Jeffy,

once upon a time I was energatic, possitve, fearless in my approaches. but it needed an extra push I never added. from all the failures, my confidence has graduately deminished to nearly zero. whenever I see a beautiful woman, I immediately think "why would she want to go out with a loser like me?"

but in reality I know I am far from being a loser... I have descent looks, sophisticated, artist, knowledgable, funny, and passionate... what I think I lack is the abilities to pick up the subtle signs girls gives out, and to use them ot my adventage.

Making the move... or rather getting physical, is the toughest part. again, due to my past experiences I was very successful till the moment of the actual laying. I need to know a "go" sign... I need to know that I wouldnt be slap in the face when I approach. even at times when there is no mistakes that all signs point to a "go" I still cowarded out...

I think the problem lies deeper. a habitual denial of self... "its easier to reject than to be rejected" I think is what's happening. and it becomes a part of me after so long.

another problem... "what good is a life time supply of candy when you have no taste buds?" when becoming a player, one must give up some of the sentimentalities,or sensictivities... so he can act all calm and cool to present the front of a man in charge... what if I want to hold on to the vulnerability? what if I want to feel the trambling, dry throat, fast heart beat that comes with the initial infactuation? can a man acheive successful game without giving up his feelings?

please advise,

Allen C.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Yowza! Looks like I got my work cut out for me with this one.

Here's a tip... a man can't achieve successful game by giving up his spell-checker! ;)

Seriously, though, your letter raises a lot of very common and very profound issues, which is why I chose it for publication. In fact, I'd say a lot of what you're getting at goes right to the philosophical heart of what we do here.

Listen. When I started this journey all those years ago, I was just like you. I experienced HUNDREDS of BRUTAL rejections. It was hard-core, dude.

At times, I would think to myself, "Why are you doing this? You're NOT getting any better, you're just humiliating yourself night after night. You suck." I just wanted to quit.

But I didn't.

I kept at it, and slowly but surely, I began to see the patterns emerge. Only time and repetition will give you the intuition to recognize those subtle signs you talked about. And as you begin to pick up on those cues, you will achieve success. It is inevitable.

Remember that Rome wasn't built in a day. This is a process.

One of the Executive Coaches, my buddy Hoobie, likes to say, "Every failure is a brick in my palace." It's all feedback.

You said your biggest sticking point is "making the move", or getting physical. It's interesting that you frame it that way. By doing so, I think you may be blowing things out of proportion. As a result, you feel apprehensive about it, which in turn causes you to sub communicate low value to the chick. This may be the cause of your problem here.

Physical escalation shouldn't be some "move" that you spring on the chick out of the blue. You should initiate physical contact right from the start of the interaction. Start with something small, like a hi-five. That's not such a big deal, right? A millisecond of contact. Next, teach her some funny hand shakes. A few more seconds of contact.

See, you take these baby steps of physical escalation over the course of the entire interaction, getting progressively more intimate until you're up to the more extreme things like kissing, piggyback rides, etc.

Don't think of it like a switch you flip, but more like a volume knob you slowly turn up.

Finally, the most interesting part of your letter was the part where you expressed concern about losing the capacity to feel. Can we achieve solid game while still retaining our feelings?

I'd say that it's IMPOSSIBLE to have good game WITHOUT having feelings. That's what makes a pick-up successful. I fall in love every time I pick up a new girl. Many of the "greats" have expressed similar sentiments.

I mean, jeez, you're talking to a guy who listens to Air Supply and REO Speedwagon... and likes it. I got feelings in spades, yo.

The only difference is I don't attach unwarranted significance to relationships anymore. It's not a question of "losing" your feelings. It's more a question of wisdom and maturity. You'll see what I mean when you get here. ;)

I've said it time and time again: these tactics and techniques are just that... a means to an end.

Ultimately, a method has no soul. You, as the player, must bring soul to the method. Remember that. Without feelings, you're just an automaton.

Cheers.

Okay, so right now, I wanna share a testimonial from a guy who took a Bootcamp with me here in San Francisco last month. We had a great time, as usual, and I thought you might like to hear what he had to say about the experience:

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

"My brain's on overload. RSD material was shoved down my throat like corn meal into a goose at a foie gras factory!

Our shopping excursion was a huge success. I felt great confidence in being 'dressed' by people with an eye for the *correct* fashion statement.

Similarly, the advanced instruction and feedback in pickup coming from trustworthy, knowledgeable, experienced coaches who show a genuine concern for their student provided a massive learning experience that far outstrips any book or CD-based lessons."

- Stu, California.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Right on. I mean, you can read a book about how to drive a car, but the fact of the matter is, until you get behind the wheel, you don't REALLY know how to do it.

That's why the Real Social Dyamics Bootcamp is structured the way it is. Several hours of hard-core classroom instruction on the ins and outs of the game, followed by straight-up application of the techniques learned IN THE FIELD, three nights in a row.

Stu also mentioned the fashion overhaul. For many students, this is their favorite part of the program. We deconstruct your style and put it back together again from the ground up, giving you advice on what the best look is *for you*.

During the program, your game is no longer your problem. It's OURS. Sometimes, I feel like I care more about the bootcamp than the student does, because it's almost like they're in SHOCK from all this new information, they can't see the forest for the trees. But I know that down the road, they'll appreciate it. That's why I give 110% on every program, to use an old sports cliche.

By now, I suspect you're getting hungry... hungry for the success with women you KNOW you deserve. It's very possible. All you need is a kick in the pants to get you started.

The RSD Individualized Bootcamp is, bar none, the FASTEST way to get your game to the next level. It's an investment that pays dividends for a LIFETIME.

To learn more about RSD Bootcamps, visit our site:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/bootcamps.asp

You'll be glad you did.

*** QUESTION ***

Hey, I have a question dealing with rapport but first i wanted to say how much i appreciate everything I have learned from everyone in the RSD crew.

I can now create attraction fairly easily which blows my mind considering where I started. But, this still isn't equating into lays and i believe it is because i don't have enough rapport or comfort and trust with the chicks.

Can you point me in the right direction that will at least get me started with building rapport. Coming from a socially retarded place - literally - this is something i need improvement in. It gets frustrating having girls giggling and telling me they love me but still not many women in my life.

Rock on,

Mark

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

I see this a lot with guys who are at an intermediate skill level. As a matter of fact, I used to have this exact same problem.

What you have to understand is, attraction is just INTEREST. Nothing more. When you get attraction, the chicks find you interesting, not necessarily "sexy".

So when you get attraction, you need to move forward to the next step, which is to get trust and comfort, as you mentioned.

At some point, you have to actually connect with the girls. Like I told Allen, you have to have some genuine chemistry and sparkle if you want to be successful.

So in practical terms, this means slowing things down, shifting gears. You shouldn't be running attract material any longer than, say 30 minutes, tops. If she's not sufficiently attracted by that point, it's probably a lost cause.

I used to run these hour-long attract sets too. I mean, you learn all this awesome material to get the girls attracted, and you almost get addicted to seeing girls shriek and giggle at things you say and do. It's a feeling of power, you know what I'm saying? Of course you do.

But let me ask you this: would you rather be a comedian, or a guy who gets laid like a rock star?

That's a rhetorical question.

So you have to move into rapport. Now mind you, this doesn't mean you STOP running attract stuff altogher. Most guys think of the seduction process as very linear. "OK, first I attract. Then I get rapport. Then I seduce."

The thing is, it SORT of works like that, but it's not so cut and dry. It's more of a FLOW, where these things happen SIMULTANEOUSLY.

So as you move into rapport, you still pepper in attract stuff to keep it charged, while upping the level of physical contact as well. Get it?

So, how do you know when it's time to shift gears? Usually, when the chick starts asking you personal questions, that's a pretty good indicator.

The first thing you'll want to do is isolate the girl and/or venue change her. You should be doing this EVERY SET. A venue change can be something as simple as moving her to a different room in the club, or you could invite her to join you for something to eat.

Once you've done that, start finding commonalities, talking about life philosophies, stuff like that. My go-to rapport builder that I deploy right off the bat is a visualzation exercise called "the cube", which is an age-old thing which you can easily find with an internet search. Money.

Find out about her background and tell her about yours. Remember, when we first meet these girls, we're just a blank cipher. By filling in the empty canvas of your life for her, you're really bridging that trust/comfort gap.

The next thing you must do is "qualify" her. In other words, you have to give her a reason to believe that you want to hang out with her because you genuinely like her, not just because she has a great ass.

Move things along methodically. You should always be aware of where you are in the interaction, and where you're going. And you should always be moving things forward, slowly but ever so surely.

Once my friend brought the fact that I was running these hour-long attract sets to my attention, that was all it took for me to correct it. Once I became AWARE I was doing it, it became something I looked out for. It's STILL something I watch for when I'm running my game. Knowing is half the battle.

Remember, even if the chick is dizzy with lust for you, social conventions dicatate that she must have no "hard fault" for getting laid. That means it's ultimately up to you to take responsibility and make the next move.

I think that should give you a pretty solid foundation to work from. Pay attention to these things, and you should be moving on up to the next plateau in no time, homie.

And if you're really serious about taking your game to the next level and taking CONTROL of your social life once and for all, there's no faster way to do it than by participating in a Real Social Dynamics LIVE, IN-FIELD Personalized Workshop or Bootcamp.

When I first got into the game, I was a complete dork who had been with less than ten women in my ENTIRE LIFE.

Today, I've been with at least ten times that amount, and pull threesomes regularly. My skill level is beyond what I ever imagined possible.

Well whooptie frickin' doo, you might be saying... what's the point?

The point is, yeah, I've gotten this part of my life handled... but it took me several YEARS to get here.

You don't have to wait that long.

You can profit INSTANTLY from our years of hard work!

At the RSD live programs, your game is no longer your problem. It's our problem.

Over the course of the weekend, you'll be exposed to TONS of mind-boggling information that is designed to catapult your game to new heights.

Then you'll apply it in REAL LIFE as you venture out to the clubs with the Executive Coaches, who'll be there to guide you every step of the way. After each interaction, you'll be provided with intensely detailed feedback designed to ERADICATE your most stubborn sticking points.

By the end of the third day, your life will be changed.

There's no time to waste... take the steps to unleash the cool, suave "ladies' man" you know you have lurking inside, ASAP!

You can see our upcoming schedule of events and sign up for your Personalized Workshop by clicking here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/seminars.asp

All righty, I'm gonna sign off here. I just got the entire collection of "The Sopranos" on DVD and I'm trying to work through it, it's tough work. I'm only on season two.

So, 'till next time... bada-bing!

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS...Do you have any questions or success stories that you'd like to see in this newsletter? Keep it brief, email them to me at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and I'll answer them personally. I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly put to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to you, our team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve
it in a SNAP.

Copyright 2004/2005 Real Social Dynamics Inc., All Rights Reserved. Real Social Dynamics is a trademark of Real Social Dynamics Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Real Social Dynamics Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim. If you are under the age of 18, please go to the link at the end of this e-letter to stop receiving it or send mail to "RSD" 8491 West Sunset Boulevard, #452, West Hollywood, CA 90069.




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