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Command Her Attention and Get It On!

Friend, how's it going.

Welcome back to the Real Social Dynamics newsletter. This time, I'm gonna go through the mailbag and hand-pick some letters from readers just like you. Okay, maybe not JUST LIKE YOU, but close enough.

Our first letter comes from Mark, who has a very interesting and unique question.

*** QUESTION ***

I don't understand, why do you have to meet many women in order to be good at getting them? Can't you just pick one very cool girl and practice to her? Like in making interesting conversations with women, why do you have to practice on many when you can converse every day with a single girl, and check her reactions?

Thanks,

Mark

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Interesting idea, Mark.

Unfortunately, "practicing" on one girl and then thinking you're a master of seduction is like conducting a poll by asking one person a question and then claming to have gotten a statistical sample.

It would be like the Food and Drug Administration holding a clinical trial of a new drug by giving it to one person and then examining the results. "Oh, well this guy didn't have any adverse reactions, let's put it on the market!"

You'd probably get a lot of very sick people and a lot of gargantuan lawsuits. Not pretty.

In other words, practicing on one girl and then expecting those results to translate to the real world is just ridiculous.

A lot of guys come to the game thinking that it's going to be something that they can easily deconstruct and create a formula to deal with. The truth is far different.

In reality, game is not a simple arithmetic problem you can just plug quantities into to get a standardized result.

It's a living, breathing dynamic thing where the variables are constantly changing.

If every girl in the world behaved in exactly the same way, then sure, your idea of practicing on one girl would work out just fine. But you know just as well as I do that that's not the case.

Let me put it this way: there are an almost infinite number of actions and reactions that can unfold in any given social interaction. Within that set of events, however, generalizations can be made and patterns found.

In order to discover these things, you need to have the largest data set you possibly can. The larger the data set, the more accurate your observatioons will be.

Put another way, massive repetition of social interaction is the only way to cultivate a noticeably improved level of social intelligence.

Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about here: say I'm interacting with a girl and I start to tell her one of my stories. I've told this story before, hundreds of times, to different people. I know that at certain points, people are likely to react in a certain way and/or say certain things. These are what we call "invisible threads".

Invisible threads are made up of all the possible ways a conversation could branch out from a given starting point. Once you've done enough sets, you start to get a pretty good idea of what most of the invisible threads are for a given routine, story or theme; once you know that, it becomes very easy for you to dominate the conversation and control the frame, because you have a response prepared for any contingency that might arise.

With this in mind, I absolutely LOVE it when somebody gives me a smart-ass remark or insults me in a way I haven't heard before... because I know it's an addition to my data set. The next time I hear that particular comment, I'm gonna have a response prepared and ready to fire off. Hallelujah!

So again, if you want to develop a nimble, agile social intelligence that can adapt to ANY situation that might arise, there's just no way around it. You need to get out there in the field and get as many unique sets under your belt as humanly possible.

Practicing on one chick just isn't gonna cut it. Sorry.

Hope that clears things up. Let's move on to a success story:

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey Jeffy !

I was at a bar in Bondi, approached 2 chicks ordering drinks at the bar, used an opinion opener, introduced myself and told them to come out to the pool hall at the rear of the pub and have a game of pool.

I said I have to go and 2 minutes later they had followed me to the pool hall and played pool for a couple of hours, I got their numbers and TOLD them to come to the Casino With us a couple of days later. Anyway, they came and I Told them, "We have to find the Bar, (A little line I borrowed ).

So here I am, 1 chick in each arm, walking around the casino, my mates following in amazement...

Before the workshop I was a big on asking Questions.. (eg) "Would you like to come to the bar" etc...

I am so amazed at how a bit of demanding and authority has improved my game, controlling the frame and the set. I told the girls what we were doing and they complied. (Although I never forced them to do what they didn't want)

I am interested... what are your thoughts on this?

Regards Sydney RSD Student Carl A.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Carl... I can't tell ya how glad I am to hear this from you... because I remember that during the program, I was constantly harping on you to STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!! Good to see you've taken that advice to heart.

Now, {!name}, you might be wondering to yourself, "What's so bad about asking questions?" Let me break it down for you.

Most guys who go about hitting on girls at the bar make this mistake. They roll up with some lame line, then start bombarding the chick with personal questions.

"What's your name?"

"What do you do?"

"Do you live around here?"

"Do you come here often?"

And so on and so on. It's what I call an "interview pickup". When I see this, I wanna bang my head against the wall in frustration like a mullethead at a Dokken concert.

The problem with this is that it's SEEKING RAPPORT with someone before they deserve it. You just met this person, what the hell do you care where they got their sweater and where they live? For all you know they could be a total basket case!

It's telegraphing interest before it's time, it's NEEDY, and it puts you at a LOWER VALUE relative to the girl.

As you should know by now, the number one rule of pickup is ALWAYS BE COOLER THAN THE GIRL!

By going in and not asking the girl all these lame questions, you're instantly setting yourself apart from the pack of chodes who are constantly coming up to them and doing this. And you're also establishing yourself as a cool guy who isn't needy.

Now, once you've gotten past that initial attraction stage and you're in rapport, asking questions is fine. At that point, it's just normal interaction, and there's nothing wrong with that.

It's when it's too EARLY that it comes off as needy.

Instead of asking questions, make STATEMENTS and COMMANDS. So, "Do you know what time it is?" becomes, "Tell me what time it is," and so on. Get it? This isn't Jeopardy.

A key concept to remember is that HIGH STATUS IS NEVER QUESTIONED.

If you are commanding, and congruent with it, ninety percent of the time, people will go along with it.

I remember an incident from when I was a little kid that opened my eyes to this. I was hanging out with my buddy, and we went to the grocery store with his dad. His dad was this crazy Persian dude who was extremely alpha, and was always doing wacky stuff.

So anyway, we're in the grocery store, and his dad says to us kids, "Watch this."

He approaches some random guy and bellows out, "HEY. Let's see some ID!"

The random guy appears startled, then pulls out his ID and shows it to my friend's dad.

His dad just laughed and walked away. He explained to us that if you ACT as though you're an authority, people will believe it. High status is never questioned.

Anyway, back on the topic of questions, it seems that a lot of guys ask all these questions as a way to fill the gaps where they don't know what to say. They think they need "material" and all of this nonsense when in fact, all they need to do is have a normal conversation, and just work in the THEMES that build attraction.

In the Real Social Dynamics Individualized Bootcamps, we explain what these themes are and how they work in EXHAUSTIVE DETAIL.

Here at RSD, our Executive Coaching staff has, collectively, DECADES of real-life field experience under their belts.

What's more, this experience came before they even began the rigorous, six-month training program required to become a certified Real Social Dynamics instructor.

The bottom line? These guys are the REAL DEAL. And they're willing to pass their hard-earned knowledge on to you.

They've walked through the fire, so you don't have to.

At your Bootcamp, you'll undergo a radical transformation as the Executive Coaches hammer away at your old self-limiting beliefs and sticking points until they're obliterated into dust.

You'll spend an intense weekend immersed in a hard-core learning environment. Then you'll take what you've learned, head out to the clubs and apply it directly, under the close scrutiny of the Executive Coaches.

Nothing like this has ever been done before.

Bottom line: it's an incredible amount of personalized instruction, from some of the world's best, at a ridiculously low price for the value.

Many students find their lives are completely, permanently changed for the better by the end of the program. Isn't the QUALITY of YOUR LIFE worth it?

If you're feeling a gut instinct to do this, pay attention to that instinct and sign up for your Bootcamp RIGHT NOW:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/bootcamps.asp

You won't regret it.

*** QUESTION ***

Hey jeff, i got a quick question for you(or two actually), i know most of the ways to cause attraction but the problem is when push comes to shove i dont do it, and i dont know why, i know i should tease and bust balls etc., but not sure why i dont do it all the time etc can you advise anything?

Also my second question is i have a girl who calls me every day, but by doing this the attraction there wont be destroyed will it? as she is calling me not me calling her... it gets awkward sometimes as you can run out of stuff to say...

Anyway i hope to hear from you soon..

Matt.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

If you read the last issue of the newsletter, about "filters of insecurity", that might give you some insight as to why you're failing to follow through on your game.

If you haven't, let me give a brief re-cap.

We all have certain filters in our head through which we perceive the world around us. Sometimes, these filters can work to our benefit; an example would be someone of high status who receives an insult but misinterprets it as a joke. In that instance, the insult BECOMES a joke, in other words, it might as well have been, in the eyes of everyone who witnessed the exchange. Perception becomes reality.

On the flip side, however, these filters can sometimes work AGAINST us, when they serve to reinforce certain insecurities we may have. I suspect some of these may be holding you back from executing.

Look. You know what you have to do to build attraction. Are you being held back by feelings of undeservedness? In other words, is there some filter in your head telling you, 'I don't deserve a girl this beautiful, she could never be into me'? Is it possibly a fear of breaking rapport? These are just some examples of filters of insecurity that can prevent us from achieving our full potential.

Ultimately, you need to realize that these are artificial constructs you have built up over time to protect a fragile sense of reality. Part of this whole journey to become a "pick up artist" involves tearing these old harmful filters down and replacing them with helpful ones. It's a painful process, but it's the only way. Examine yourself, see if you harbor any of these detrimental constructs, and push through.

Handle your business.

In respose to your second question, it doesn't matter if SHE calls or YOU call. Girls were not meant to be gamed over the phone.

Think about it: the telephone is a relatively recent invention, whereas humans have been around for eons. We're not evolved to the point where it becomes feasible to game over the phone.

In my opinion, phone calls should be employed for two reasons and two reasons alone: to keep a girl "warm" when you haven't seen her for a while, and to set up meetings. Nothing more.

I see absolutely no reason to be having long, pointless conversations with some chick every day. At this point, you're nothing more than her therapist girlfried she calls up to gossip with.

In any interaction with a woman, you need to stay focused and keep your eyes on the prize. Be aware of where you are in the interaction, and where you need to go, and always be moving things forward. Every phone call should serve a purpose: to move you closer to the goal.

Additionally, I like to keep phone conversations with girls very brief: say hello, tell brief story to pump her buying temperature, end the conversation before she does to keep my value higher than hers. No more than ten minutes.

I could go on and on about the intricacies of phone game, in fact it's one of my favorite subjects, because it's an important piece of the puzzle. Unfortunately, space constraints forbid me from going into any further detail here.

If you really want the straight dope on phone game, you should take one of our Personalized Workshops.

This is an experience that can literally take years off your learning curve. Many students find it so valuable that they end up taking the program several times in different cities across the globe.

{!name}, I suspect by now your hunger is growing... you can see yourself as a guy who's extremely satisfied. A guy who has his choice of women. And it CAN be a reality. This is something anyone can learn...

You just need a jump-start!

The information and personalized training in our live programs can save you a lot of frustration, and get you the life you want TODAY, not months or years from now.

If you want to make that happen... if you're feeling a strong urge to go ahead and take control of your social life RIGHT NOW, then sign up for a live program and take advantage of our offer before it's too late.

Life's too short. You owe it to yourself. Learn more about our programs and check out our upcoming schedule here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/seminars.asp

All right then. It's almost time for me to go out and hit the clubs, that means I gotta throw on some clothes and squirt some hairspray on my dome. I'll talk to you next time.

'Till then... keep it up!

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS...Do you have any questions or success stories that you'd like to see in this newsletter? Keep it brief, email them to me at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and I'll answer them personally. I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly put to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to you, our team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve
it in a SNAP.

Copyright 2004/2005 Real Social Dynamics Inc., All Rights Reserved. Real Social Dynamics is a trademark of Real Social Dynamics Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Real Social Dynamics Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim. If you are under the age of 18, please go to the link at the end of this e-letter to stop receiving it or send mail to "RSD" 8491 West Sunset Boulevard, #452, West Hollywood, CA 90069.




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