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Misconceptions Surrounding Women and The Game

What is it that separates the amateur from the professional? Is it innate, god-given skills? Hard work? Passion?

While all these things may play a factor, a lot of the time, it's just a question of KNOWLEDGE. A woking knowledge off the ins and outs of the game, and the ability to see past common misconceptions and discern the true path, which is often counter-intuitive.

The dating game is no different. Misconceptions abound, and they have a tendency to separate the players from the posers in a jiffy.

In fact, many of these misconceptions are straight-up LIES propagated by certain aspects of the culture. Television programs, love songs, movies, etc.

We're exposed to this social conditioning from a very early age. It's everywhere, inescapable. Maybe it exists because society as we know it couldn't continue to function without it (after all, a society where every male was a full-blown player would eventually become unstable and disintegrate).

Whatever the reason, it's this social conditioning that keeps most guys from having the kind of sex life they dream about. The average man has less than eight sex partners in his ENTIRE LIFE.

I don't know about you, {!name}, but that sounds pretty damn weak to me.

So, in the interest of preventing YOU from becoming another "less than eight" statistic, what I'm gonna do right here is break down for you some of the more common misconceptions swirling around the world of dating and pick-up.

1. "The right way to go about attracting a girl is to logically convince her that you are the best man for her. In other words, what you need to do is present your case as though you were in a court of law, providing evidence and material witnesses to attest to your status as excellent boyfriend material."

This makes sense. If you truly are the best guy for her, if you were able to prove that, she'd naturally realize that the best course of action would be to hook up with you, right?

Wrong. What this very sensible line of reasoning fails to take into account is the fact that attraction has little, if anything, to do with logic.

Attraction is not something that people decide to have for someone.

It is something purely EMOTIONAL, that can be triggered by a competent pick-up artist in a very short time, provided he knows which switches to flip.

Attempting to logically convince a girl to like you is like attempting to logically convince a ravenous tiger to not eat you. It's not gonna work, and you're gonna end up in a heap on the ground with your heart ripped out of your chest.

Moving on...

2. "To get a girl you want, it's best to try really hard to win her over. This way, she'll see how much you really care, and she'll fall in love with you."

Oh brother. I don't even know where to start with this one.

It all goes back to the concept of VALUE. People in general, and women in this particular instance, are attracted to those who they feel can help them MAINTAIN or GAIN value.

What are you sub communicating when you follow a chick around and are constantly trying to impress her?

That's right, you're letting her know that SHE is the prize, and that you place a great deal of value on her.

Which is just another way of saying that you are not someone that could provide any value to HER.

Trying hard to win her over isn't NOBLE or GALLANT, it's just NEEDY.

3. "If you like a girl, you should choose your words very carefully around her. By being careful and walking on eggshells, you prevent yourself from saying anything stupid and screwing up the pickup."

Ok, what's the problem with this?

First of all, it's setting up a frame where, again, she is of higher value. By doing this you're putting yourself in a very outcome-dependent place internally. And like it or not, you can't help but sub communicate that during the interaction.

It will show through in countless, subtle ways. Through your body language. Through your tone of voice. Women in particular are highly attuned to this sort of thing, and it's bound to trip you up.

Moreover, by carefully planning and pining, you kill all spontaneity in the interaction. It's that very spontaneity which is often the catalyst for that ephemeral thing we call "chemistry" which is INCREDIBLY VITAL to any successful pickup.

Attraction happens FAST. Rather than plotting and planning, it's best to just go in, BOOM BOOM BOOM hit the switches, and be out.

Don't shoot yourself in the foot with all this methodical, ponderous nonsense.

4. "If you want a girl, it's best to just be honest with her about your feelings. You should just go up to her and tell her how you feel. She'll respect you for this and see the light."

In a perfect world, this would be true. Unfortunately, this isn't a perfect world, just the best of all possible worlds.

Have you ever done this and had it work? I think every guy has done this at least once.

I remember when I did it. I was in junior high, and I really liked this one girl. So I got her phone number from her friend. I spent an entire morning with the number in my hand, staring at it and psyching myself up to call her.

Finally, after several hours, I summoned the courage to dial the number. I asked her parents if she was home, they put her on the phone.

I said, "Heather? Hi, it's Jeff from history class. I like you, do you wanna go out with me?"

Guess what happened.

The chick started LAUGHING, said no, and hung up.

The problem was that I had done absolutely nothing to build attraction whatsoever. This particular conceit, that being honest and forthright is a great way to get girls, fails to take this into account.

The fact of the matter is, when you do something like this and come right out and state your intent, it forces the girl to make a decision about you IMMEDIATELY, based on what she knows about you.

If you've done some groundwork and built attraction prior to playing your "honesty card", it can work. If you haven't, well get ready for a little Jr. High experience of your own!

5. "Good-looking guys never get rejected by girls."

This is an absolute fallacy. You have to realize, even the best-looking guys rely on contingencies.

I've known several "naturals" who were INCREDIBLY successful with women in my time, and almost all of these guys got laid because girls would approach THEM.

Put the guy in a situation where he sees a girl he wants who DOESN'T approach him, however, and the dude is paralyzed.

See, the thing is, it's VERY RARE to find guys who do cold approaches on strangers. It just doesn't happen that often. Even these so-called 'naturals' don't do it. Yet somehow the myth gets propagated that these dudes are some kind of superhumans, and by extension we get the even more destructive myth that "hot girls only sleep with hot guys".

Listen, you've got to realize that looks are nowhere near as important to women as they are to men. I mean, yes, you do need to have decent hygiene and style, but beyond that, it's not some huge overriding factor in how much you get laid.

Trust me on this. I'm a pale, short dude pushin thirty with a beer gut, and I sleep with women who are "hotter" than me by several orders of magnitude.

6. "Guys are always chasing after sex; therefore, it follows that guys like sex more than girls."

This is absolute rubbish, as they say in the UK.

Chew on this: only females have an organ that is designed solely for sexual pleasure. That organ has something like 10,000 times the number of nerve endings of any other region of the human body (we're talking about the clitoris, of course).

The only reason it seems as though guys are more into sex is because it is more of a commodity for them.

Think about it. Even the most homely woman in town can likely get laid by taking a trip down to her local bar by herself. A woman has plenty of options if she wants to get laid.

The thing is, she has to be very selective about when and where she has sex. If she wasn't constantly SCREENING men out, well, she'd end up having sex with 50,000 guys by the time she was done.

Doesn't leave much time for other hobbies, does it?

It's this necessary process of screening which ends up giving the ABSOLUTELY FALSE impression that women don't enjoy sex as much as men do.

Make no mistake: they like it just as much, IF NOT MORE.

7. "If people see me doing approaches, they'll point me out to their friends and all have a good laugh. In fact, people are always looking around to see if dudes are approaching girls so they can laugh at them. If I do cold approaches, people will think less of me."

This is just screwed-up internal talk at work here.

Look, the thing you've got to realize is that most people are so self-absorbed that they can barely cross the street without getting hit by a car. What makes you think that they're gonna notice you approaching some girls?

Let's just imagine for a second that some guy DOES notice you and starts to mock you, for the sake of argument. Why would he do something like that? What would his motivations be?

What's likely going on is that the guy couldn't do a cold approach to save his life, and as such ENVIES you. Even if you get blown out, it doesn't matter: you had the balls to approach, he doesn't, and it KILLS him inside. That's what's REALLY goin' on.

What about the girls you approach who reject you? Man, they're not thinking any less of you, provided you've got a BASE LEVEL of competence. At the most, they're gonna think to themselves, "Wow, that guy's got some balls, he seems like a guy who just goes up to girls and doesn't give a damn. I'm not up for it right now, but he seems cool."

It's not a big deal. If this is something you currently believe, consider why you're thinking like this. You're making EXCUSES to NOT approach. Might be time to reframe things.

8. "If I go to the club and don't drink alcohol, people will notice and think I'm weird."

See above... people are simply too self-absorbed to care about stuff like this.

If you believe this, seriously ask yourself if this is an excuse to drink alcohol because it helps you with your confidence issues.

Listen, I drink when I go out to the club. I'm the last person to sit here and give you a lecture about the perils of drinking.

But if you're using it as a crutch to help you approach women, that's not a good thing. Give it some thought.

9. "When I see guys dancing with girls and grinding up on them on the dance floor, well, those guys are obviously going home with the girls at the end of the night."

RIIIIIIGHT.

Check it: I can't count the number of times I've been gaming a girl, then had her go off to the dance floor and get grinded on by some chode. Did I lose my cool? No. I simply waited until they were done dancing, then rolled in and swooped her away from the guy. Not difficult at all.

See, when the girls are out on the floor, it's par for the course for these guys to come up and do this stuff. They think they're getting somewhere, then act all surprised when the girl stops paying attention to them when they get off the dance floor.

The thing is, while this sort of thing CAN work, it has no correlation to attraction.

Again, it CAN work, but it has a tendency to slot you into the category of the "regular guys" who ALL do this stuff, most of whom get blown off.

We don't want statistical roulette. We want CONSISTENCY.

Remember, people are hardwired for attraction. It can be triggered simply by hitting a series of switches, which have little to do with the above conceptions.

A skilled player can roll in, flip those switches and capitalize before she even knows what hit her.

In the Real Social Dynamics Individualized Bootcamps, we'll show you EXACTLY what those switches are, and how to flip them in a matter of SECONDS.

I'm willing to bet that you're already picturing yourself as a straight-up MACK, approaching beautiful women with total confidence in your abilities... and more importantly, converting those approaches to full-monty lays with remarkable consistency. No more statistical roulette!

It's there... you can see it.

You just need a little bit of motivation, and that's just what you'll get at your Bootcamp.

They're a massive amount of personalized training, from the BEST, at an extraordinary value, point-blank period.

If you're hearing a booming voice in your head right now that says, "I need to do this!"... if you'd like to unlock the secrets of the social matrix and beat the game on its own terms... then trust your instincts, sign up for a live program now, and take advantage of this incredible value before it's too late.

That's right, we won't be able to offer the programs at their current prices for much longer.

This isn't a "scare tactic". Jeffy don't play that.

It's just a FACT. We simply can't AFFORD to continue doing our live, in-field programs at these rates.

After taking the program, you'll have at your disposal all of the tools and resources that we've spent years developing - so you can instantly profit from our collective *decades* of hard-won field experience.

There is a way to jump the learning curve, and this is it. You can only come out ahead.

Don't wind up kicking yourself because you missed out!

Sign up for your Bootcamp now by visiting our site:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/bootcamps.asp

"One of the greatest educational experiences of my life! (the program) has enlarged the range of my capabilities beyond what I had thought possible. First-class program, highly professional instructors. Surpassed all of my expectations."

-Anthony Pham, San Francisco, CA

We've also got some new dates up on the schedule for our Personalized Workshops.

Over the course of a weekend, you'll be immersed in a hard-core learning environment from start to finish. We give you the tools you need to get girls attracted to you FAST, and the skills and self-confidence you need to convert that attraction into something more.

Each night, you'll take those skills into the field with a wide variety of RSD Executive Coaches. You'll do interaction after interaction, pushing further and further past your limits, with the Executive Coaches there to guide you every step of the way.

Our bulletproof system is the final product of years of fine- tuning, polishing, and perfecting. It'll increase your success beyond what you thought imaginable. And it'll empower you to approach anyone, anywhere, and break the tension and build rapport, while sounding like an old pro.

Knowing what to do and when to do it can shave YEARS off of your learning curve. That's YEARS of crash & burns you won't have to endure, YEARS of going home alone you won't have to suffer through.

Why go through all that when you can have the life you want NOW?

If you're thinking that this is something you want to take care of TODAY, and not MONTHS or YEARS from now, then check out our schedule and sign up for your live program right now by clicking here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/seminars.asp

You can thank me later. :)

Okay, {!name}, I'm starting to get hungry, so I think I'm off to the taco shop. Hang in there, and until next time, try to think of any more misconceptions about the game that might be holding you back. I'll talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS...Do you have any questions or success stories that you'd like to see in this newsletter? Keep it brief, email them to me at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and I'll answer them personally. I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly put to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to you, our team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve
it in a SNAP.

Copyright 2004/2005 Real Social Dynamics Inc., All Rights Reserved. Real Social Dynamics is a trademark of Real Social Dynamics Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Real Social Dynamics Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim. If you are under the age of 18, please go to the link at the end of this e-letter to stop receiving it or send mail to "RSD" 8491 West Sunset Boulevard, #452, West Hollywood, CA 90069.




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