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Obliterate Your Fear of Meeting Women

Hi, Friend.

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is the concept of social pressure.

Unless you've been living in a cave for your entire life, you're intimately familiar with what I'm talking about here.

The term "social pressure" encompasses a pretty broad range of experiences, most all of which are unpleasant in one way or another. Basically, this can mean any social situation where you feel uncomfortable.

We're exposed to social pressure from a very young age. Remember your first day in kindergarten? Everything was unfamiliar, you didn't know anyone. Maybe a group of first graders started talking smack, calling you a weiner or something. Sounds funny now, but at the time, it was almost paralyzing.

So here we are, decades later. You're an adult now. Everyone is nice and civil now. Those feelings of exclusion are a thing of the past.

Yeah RIGHT!

The fact of the matter is, we still experience social pressure almost every day. It's just a little more complex than being called childish names such as "weiner". In most cases, anyway...

You're at the bar. You approach the girl you want. Suddenly, the three steroid guys she's there with are up in your face, making mad aggressive comments about your appearance, grabbing at you.

Blech! You can feel something inside you just sort of shrivel up and retreat.

How about this one: you approach the girl and she responds by laughing in your face and turning her back on you, ignoring you as she continues to talk to her friends. You feel ice dripping in your chest as you slink away, defeated.

This stuff hurts, folks. Literally. Recently, a study was done at UCLA which linked social rejection to actual physical pain. Imaging revealed that the emotional pain of social rejection activates two brain regions that are also important in the response to physical pain. A quote:

"Pain activates the anterior cingulate cortex, which signals higher brain regions that impel an individual to act to stop the pain; social rejection similarly triggers activity in this region. Activation of the right ventral prefrontal cortex appears to help dampen the distress of both physical pain and social exclusion.

The area of the anterior cingulate cortex most activated by rejection, said Lieberman, overlaps with the area activated by internal, rather than external pain. That means rejection 'feels more like a punch in the stomach than a broken arm,' he said."

So when you hear poets talk about the pain of heartache, they're not just talking out of their ass. When you get blown off, that sinking feeling in your gut is not just your imagination.

Your brain tells you, "THIS HURTS. Do something to make it stop!!!" And consequently, over the years, we develop an aversion to situations that could result in this pain.

That's why we get these inner game issues like approach anxiety. It is a learned behavior.

So what the hell do we do? Simple. Activate your right ventral prefrontal cortex to dampen the signals.

Just kidding!

There's no easy way around this one. You just have to train yourself to handle it.

Having established a valid connection between physical pain and social pressure, I'm gonna use a martial arts metaphor here.

Let's say you have two fighters.

One is highly trained in techniques and katas and so on, but has severely limited experience in actual physical fighting.

The other is a bartender in a biker bar who has been throwing down in the parking lot for twenty years, but never took a day of fight training in his life.

Who do you think will come out on top if these guys meet?

The kung-fu guy may get some solid hits in at first, but most likely the bartender with scar tissue all over his knuckles is gonna shake it off and simply hit him back harder. Hell, he might even knock the kung-fu guy out with one punch.

The point is, you can know all the techniques in the world, but let's face it, out there in the field, we take hits. That's social pressure. And we have to expose ourselves to it all the time if we're gonna learn to shake it off and come back with the KO.

The best guys know this and constantly inoculate themselves against the heat by throwing themselves into these situations again and again.

Another FACT is that our response to the pressure will invariably determine our success or failure in any given social interaction.

That's why you'll see RSD Executive Coaches charge straight into a group of five steroid guys standing at the bar with one super hottie, push the guys out of the way and open her. The guy's got hands all over him in two seconds, they're yelling in his face and talking smack, but he simply DOES NOT CARE.

He can take the pressure, he's used to it.

It's like a bubble around him, like the guys try to touch him and he turns to mist. I remember seeing this shit and thinking to myself, "Dude... he's the devil."

The girl, on the other hand, sees this and becomes SUPER-ATTRACTED. Nobody is this confident, they don't ever see guys like this, and it says a million great things about him.

That's why I can game a girl all night only to have her blow me off for some tall, good-looking dode, but still play the game and get her back, busting in and blowing the punk out in a tug-of-war.

Does it hurt when this kind of stuff happens? Yes. But we're accustomed to it, and we SHAKE IT OFF.

I once heard it likened it to scuba diving... as you descend, you logically know you shouldn't be breathing, but the apparatus protects you and you continue to go deeper.

This is the game, guys. And it ain't no schoolyard ball, this is the NBA Finals. There's nothing like it, the stakes are high, the pressure is high, but if you want the rewards, this is where you have to play.

A lot of times, before I go out for the night, my roommates will ask me what I'm doing. I'll usually say in a gleeful tone, "I've invited five girls to the bar. It should be a disaster! Heeeheeee!"

I actually do this for fun now. See, back in the day, I had a few nasty Jack Tripper-like incidents where multiple girls showed up at the bar and I ended up getting slapped.

I remember the first time this happened, I was in full tonguedown with some girl when I hear an icy-cold voice say, "Hello, Jeffy. Who the hell is THIS?!!"

I was gripped by a panic, I couldn't speak, I just stood there.

I lost it, I couldn't hold the frame in the face of the social pressure. It was horrible, I totally dropped the ball and a raging argument ensued, right there in the bar, while hipsters gawked and ridiculed me. How gauche!

I resolved that that would never happen again. So I started intentionally setting these scenarios up so I could learn how to deal with it.

Now, after experiencing it many, many times, it's something I actually look forward to. I love it, the feeling of panic in my stomach when I see two or three girls I'm seeing, and they're standing in the corner, actually talking TO EACH OTHER, and I saunter up and say, "Hey girls, what's up?"

It's kinda sick if you really think about it. I've actually started to ENJOY the pain. Like, I'm a demented sadomasochistic bastard who cuts himself cause he likes to see it bleed. Like De Niro in Taxi Driver... a badass with a mowhawk holding his arm over the stove... or something.

The funny thing is, these girls see it, and rather than assault and harangue me, now they usually start competing over me.

I can kiss them right in front of the others and nothing happens. What's the difference? What has changed? Nothing.

The only difference is in my response to the social pressure. I simply DO NOT CARE. Repeated exposure has made me immune to it.

Not only that, seeing the benefits and success I get by ignoring the pain replaces the negative anchors I had with positive ones.

Anyone can do this. I mean, if *I* could do it, you certainly can. If you met me, you would see that I'm sorta chubby, pale, short, and pushin' thirty.

When I first started approaching women, I had been with only five women in my entire life.

Today, I've been with at least ten times that amount, and have sex with stripper and hot women on a regular basis.

In fact... I'm so bored with regular sex that I can only have threesomes now. My girlfriend hates it.

I'm not (just) bragging here. The point is, things I felt were impossible just a short time ago are now a part of my everyday reality.

I'm guessing that about this time you're thinking to yourself, "Hey, I want to do the impossible too!"

Well, you can, and the best part is, you won't have to work as hard as I did to achieve it!

And that, my friend, is where RSD comes in.

Instantly Profit From Our Years Of Hard Work!

In our live, in-field programs, we act as your personal coaches and instructors. Your game is no longer your problem.

It's OUR PROBLEM.

You wouldn't try to teach yourself karate by reading a book, would you? Probably not. You'd go to a respected, accomplished instructor.

Why should pick-up be any different? After all, it's been proven that it can be nearly as painful!

During your personalized bootcamp, you'll be pushed to your limits...

Then you'll be pushed some more!

And the entire time, the RSD executive coaches will be there, not only to provide you with intensely detailed feedback and suggestions, but also to demonstrate what is REALLY possible.

This is an investment that pays dividends for a LIFETIME.

"The program was amazing. I learned soooo much stuff and approached more girls than I had in like 6 years. Watching those guys work was great - seeing it done live from guys who have developed the skills is amazing. Jeffy had these 2 chicks smiling ear to ear, giggling with delight within like 20 seconds!... It is like seeing the male - female interaction matrix and being able to jump off buildings and dodge bullets... It's no longer a mystery how pick up works. I had some pieces before but now I've got a feel for thew whole framework of steps. Great stuff... I will recommend to dudes in the future for sure."

- Mike Shimer, San Francisco

It's your life, and it's ticking away every second. You owe it to yourself. To learn more about Real Social Dynamics programs, click this link:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/seminars.asp

During your personalized bootcamp, you'll be pushed to your limits...

Then you'll be pushed some more!

And the entire time, the RSD executive coaches will be there, not only to provide you with intensely detailed feedback and suggestions, but also to demonstrate what is REALLY possible.

To learn more about RSD Personalized Bootcamps, visit:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/education/bootcamps.asp

This is an investment that pays dividends for a LIFETIME.

Thanks again for reading our newsletter, and I'll see you next time with some more REAL-LIFE tips and tactics. Over and out.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS...Do you have any questions or success stories that you'd like to see in this newsletter? Keep it brief, email them to me at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and I'll answer them personally. I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly put to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to you, our team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve
it in a SNAP.

Copyright 2004/2005 Real Social Dynamics Inc., All Rights Reserved. Real Social Dynamics is a trademark of Real Social Dynamics Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Real Social Dynamics Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim. If you are under the age of 18, please go to the link at the end of this e-letter to stop receiving it or send mail to "RSD" 8491 West Sunset Boulevard, #452, West Hollywood, CA 90069.




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