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What to Give Up To Attract Love


Rinatta Paries


Many times when people want to attract their ideal partner, they make a list of things to do -- action steps, if you will -- that will help them meet "the one." They add new activities into their routine, join dating services, and write singles ads. They may start an exercise program or buy new clothes in an effort to look better. They let their friends know they're "in the market."

Seldom do people think of giving up something as a way to attract Mr. or Ms. Right. Well, this is not entirely true. People may give up such things as smoking or overeating. But the kind of "giving-up" I'm referring to is about your beliefs, attitudes, and feelings. Giving up something in one of these areas is more likely to lead you to your Mr. or Ms. Right.

Below is a list of things you should consider giving up if you want to attract your Mr. or Ms. Right.

1. Give up anger at the opposite sex.
You can tell when people have a chip on their shoulders. And yet those who are angry and disappointed with the opposite sex think their feelings are undetectable. If you can truly give up the anger at the opposite sex, you have a much better chance of attracting the partner you want.

2. Give up on your past relationships.
Most of us can tell when someone is unavailable or ambivalent about dating because of an unfinished relationship. If you hope that one of your past partners will come back, others will be able to tell. Your ideal partner will surely want a completely available partner. You'll be hard pressed to attract him or her until you are completely available.

3. Give up trying to be perfect in order to attract a mate.
As long as you think your body, your pocketbook, or your emotional well-being have to be in perfect shape in order to be loved, you will remain alone. A state of perfection can seldom be achieved -- we are inherently imperfect. You are peachy just as you are for some lucky person out there.

4. Give up protecting yourself from hurt.
Lots of singles devise all sorts of tests to make sure potential partners won't hurt them the way they were hurt in the past. This never works because people know when they are being tested and will either fake it or fail on purpose. Instead, become the type of person who is seldom mistreated and who can set strong, clear boundaries.

5. Give up looking for a relationship.
Looking for a relationship is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Although singles ads and dating services bring some success and are good for getting lots of dating experience, most people still meet their life partner by chance. Your best bet for finding your Mr. or Ms. Right is to have a wonderful life now.

6. Give up on conversations about the lack of available partners. Singles frequently complain: "There are no good single men or women left." "There are no good single men or women where I live." You will see what you believe you will see. The issue is not about what types of singles are in your community or whether there are any good men or women left. It is not about men and women out there at all, because you don't need many men or women to be a particular way. What you want and need is one compatible partner. And this one partner is waiting for you to change your belief about what you will see and make him or her visible to you.

Want to know how to take effective actions on these six items you need to give up? The action steps and the other 11 lessons are all detailed in the new class, "How to Stop Being Single." For more info and to register go to http://www.whatittakes.com/classes/singleshelp.html

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2005.

Forget everything you know about love, dating, and relationships. Get inside advice and tips for finding true love, falling in love the right way and staying together happily. Read Love Coach Rinatta Paries' www.LoveCoachBlog.com to learn how to get and keep true love in.




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